Why has the perception of beauty and the ideal of perfectionism become so important that we can't see the real beauty within ourselves? Why would a mother not give the love and support to her child because in her twisted mind that child isn't perfect enough? Isn't being a child and being your child make that child perfect? What has gone wrong?
Over the past couple years I have been privileged to be part of a group of women from across the world. Although thousands of miles separate us and our backgrounds are as diverse as can be, the love of a mother for her child brought us together. In getting to know these women there seems to be an overwhelming amount of childhood stories of neglect and emotional abuse by their own mothers. These women that are beyond beautiful in every way cannot see how amazing they truly are because their mother's voice is in their head tells them otherwise. I just want to grab hold of these women, give them great big hugs and not let go until they feel the love they never had.
I was fortunate to have all the love and support a child should have and so maybe that is why this just baffles me. How can a mother not think her child is perfect in every way? Maybe their mothers treated them the same way and so they don't know any other way. It is time to stop the cycle if that is the case.
I am sure those I am referring to are reading this and I want each and every one of you to know you have made my life better by knowing you. I love you all!
Just in case some of "those" mother's there are reading this here are a few simple ways to help build your child's self-esteem not put them down...
- Take a step back and look at the blessing you have been given and tell your child how wonderful they are.
- Don't assume your child knows, you need to tell them. Sure your teenager may roll her eyes or your toddler may ignore you but someday she will be a mother too and she will remember then.
- Encourage your child. Tell them that scribble of artwork is beautiful and that they could be an artist one day.
- Don't put yourself down, children learn from example. I heard a 10 year old girl in the check out line tell her friend that she didn't want any candy because she needed to watch her weight. Where did she learn that?
- Show affection, give them a pat on the back or a job well done or a kiss good night. Do the same with your spouse, once again children learn from example.
- Get Help! There are people that devote their lives to these situations and are there to help.
- Easiest of all, tell them "I Love You"!